How To Make ‘Self-Partnered’ Your Awesome New Relationship Status

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How To Make 'Self-Partnered' Your Awesome New Relationship Status Title Card - In the background a woman sits outside holding onto red balloons

Hiya Sweet Friend:

Recently Emma Watson declared that she preferred to think of herself as “self-partnered.” Not single, but instead enjoying a lovely relationship with herself. How awesome is that?! Kudos to Emma for highlighting the importance of a loving and respectful relationship with your gorgeous self.

But what exactly does it even mean to be in a self-partnership? And do you have to be single to tap into it?

Heck no baby! Self-love is spectaculasome (spectacularly awesome). And building a relationship with yourself is a huge part of that. Being in a self-partnership is awesome for everyone!

Which means that dating yourself, regardless of your relationship status, is a marvelous idea.

How do you work on achieving that coveted “self-partnered” relationship status? I’ve got some awesome tips for you.

Let’s talk about it!

What Does It Mean To Be Self-Partnered?

A woman walks across the streets, throwing her head back and laughing

According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly: “self-partnering focuses on the ideal of being happy and complete as a solo individual […] To be truly self-partnered, one must often invest a great deal of time and energy on personal development.” (source).

At it’s foundation, the term “self-partnered” was coined as a lovely way to positively re-frame singlehood. Thank you Emma Watson!

But it’s also a powerful reminder that, regardless of where you are in your life (and what your relationship status may be), it’s important that you nourish and prioritize your relationship with yourself.

Because, my wonderful friend, you are just as worthy of your love and kindness as everyone else in your life.

A woman sits on top of a basketball net, holding the basketball in her hands

You put so much thought and devotion into your relationships with others. Let’s turn some of that same level of thoughtfulness and passion inwards towards your relationship with fantabulous you.

So how can you work on your relationship with yourself and, ultimately, be “self-partnered?”

1. Prioritize Self-Care

When you love someone you do your best to take are of them. You’re present for them when they need you. And you encourage them to take care of themselves too. Why not do that for yourself?

Make time for whatever self-care you need daily. Whether it be 5 minutes of deep breathing, an hour of Netflix, a walk around the block, a moment of doodling in a journal or something else entirely.

You deserve some time to take care of yourself in whatever way you need.

Someone sits down with a book and a cup of coffee. Prioritizing self-care and relaxing moments is an important part of being self-partnered.

Super bonus, prioritizing your self-care will benefit you and those you love.

Therapist Julia Bartz has this to say on prioritizing self-care:

“Many people think it’s selfish to consider one’s needs. But doing so will benefit not only you but the others in your life. It’s difficult to care for and connect with others when we’re in a constant state of stress and exhaustion.” (source)

It can absolutely be a struggle sometimes to schedule in some you time. Especially since we aren’t exactly encouraged to prioritize ourselves. But that’s exactly the reason why you need to work on penciling yourself in.

To help, I made you a free printable self-care workbook. Download your copy right here or fill out the form below and I’ll send it to you right away. Having a plan in place can be a HUGE help! So I got your back <3.

2. Take Yourself On Dates

Eager to check out a new restaurant? Interested in that bookstore downtown? Excited about a museum exhibit? Take yourself out honey!

When it comes to planning a date with others, it’s common to put tons of thought and effort into it. You think about what would make them happy. If there’s any way that you can make their time extra special. And what activities would line up with their passions and interests.

A woman sits at a table enjoying a meal by herself. Taking yourself out on a date can be a wonderful part of being self-partnered.

Take some time to put just as much thought and effort into a special outing just for you. You deserve it!

Does that mean you have to go alone? Not necessarily! Planning a date night with a loved one or some friends can be incredibly rewarding and fun. And can absolutely count as self-kindness. As long as it’s special and exciting for you.

Related: 13 Acts of Self-Love That Will Make You Feel Wonderful

3. Cook Or Bake For Yourself

Food can be a beautiful part of your self-love language. Have you ever made cookies or cooked a meal for a loved one? How awesome did it feel to take the time to create food for them? There’s so much love that can go into cooking. Take that special moment and do it for yourself, cutie!

A woman checks on a pot on the stove in her kitchen, ingredients sit ready on the counter.

Find a recipe you feel excited about! I’m talking “drooled on your phone a little when you saw it” excited. (No judgement, I feel you!)

Pick out your ingredients, prep your kitchen, put on some good music and get cooking!

And then savour every bite. Because yum town is not a place to rush through.

Yes, you can share with someone if you want to. Because sharing food is delightful! But make you cook it because you want it. And know while you’re cooking that this deliciousness is a wonderful gift for you from you.

Related: 8 Simple Mindful Eating Tips to Help You Eat Better

4. Write Yourself A Love Letter

A woman sits and journals by the window. Journaling and writing yourself a love letter can be so helpful when working on being self-partnered

Have you ever written a note to a loved one about how awesome they are and how much you adore them? Or even a sweet blurb in a card? Makes them feel good, doesn’t it?

And it always feels wonderful to write it too! Sharing your love, gratitude and admiration with someone is nothing short of magical. So why not do it for yourself?

Whether it be a couple sentences about accomplishments you’re proud of, or a few pages about how fantastic you are, writing it down can make you feel amazing.

Even better, talking to yourself in the third person (and using your name while you do so) allows for some self-distancing. Meaning that you can sort of look at your own qualities more objectively, like an outsider. Research suggest that this let’s you recognize qualities within yourself that you haven’t noticed yet. (source)

Someone holds a pen over paper, ready to write

This love letter might actually lift you up a ton more than you think. Which can give you a huge boost in self-esteem. And, even better, strengthen your relationship with your wonderful self. And Boom! You’re self-partnered before you know it!

Related: 3 Things Everyone Should Know About Positive Affirmations

5. Indulge In A Little Alone Time

Some time with you is a wonderful thing. You time allows you to connect with yourself, giving you the wonderful opportunity to enjoy your own company.

Plus, you may just get to know yourself a little better. This whole self-partnered thing keeps sounding better and better, doesn’t it?

Someone sits on a rock in on the beach watching the water and the horizon.

Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly had more awesome thoughts on the matter:

“Although it’s normal and healthy to want to be with others, it’s important to also nurture feeling at ease without others — and loving your time alone […] your self-esteem grows when you consciously learn to love your own company.” (source)

Alone time comes in many forms. A relaxing bath, time lost in a good book, a lovely walk… or even going out solo to a movie or dinner (which brings us back to the “take yourself on a date” idea. See, it all comes together! Booyah!)

Related: 4 Fantastic Reasons Why You Need To Make Time To Do Nothing

6. Give Journaling A Try

Someone hold their pen ready, writing in their journal. Journaling can be very helpful when working on being self-partnered.

If love letter writing doesn’t feel write for your, freestyle journaling could be your new best friend. Doing both is also an option; you don’t have to choose one or the other.

Taking the time to write out your thoughts, feelings and experiences, completely unfiltered, can really allow you to connect with yourself.

Even better, there are no rules in journal town. So do what feels right for you. Ultimately, it’s a judgement free zone where your thoughts run free. And you may learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.

Related: How To Connect With Yourself When You’re Super Busy

Final Thoughts

Sara of sits on a log over the water. Her head is tilted back and her eyes are closed. She has a big smile on her faceIt’s me! Enjoying a moment with myself and nature (and my hubby, hiding behind the camera <3)

At the end of the day, self-partnering includes connecting to yourself in a way that makes the most sense for you. Every relationship is unique, including your relationship with yourself. Tap into your needs, interests, preferences and dreams and prioritize yourself.

You are just as worthy of the time, love and kindness you share with others. Channel some of that inward love! You have so much to gain!

What self-partnering activities and advice would you add to the list? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Share with me in the comments below.

Health and love,


Thought of the day: Be kind to yourself.


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Sara | Ms. Health-Esteem

Sara Flanagan is a wellness writer and the creator of, where she shares her story of being diagnosed with Graves Disease, a chronic autoimmune disease, and empowering herself to do everything she can to thrive in spite of her diagnosis. She writes articles on self-love, acceptance, wellness and nutrition. Join the Health-Esteem Family today and share in the journey.


  1. Reply

    Jessica Collazo

    February 19, 2020

    Yes we have to prioritize ourselves.

  2. Reply


    February 19, 2020

    This is a wonderful idea. I’ve never heard of the idea of being self-partnered, but it makes a lot of sense. After all, the person who should love us the most is US!

  3. Reply

    William Sweeney

    February 19, 2020

    I think almost everyone fails at adequately appreciating and taking care of themselves. I really like this concept a lot.

  4. Reply


    February 19, 2020

    I think we all need to take better care of ourselves. We should be our own best friend, advocate, and partner. But too many of us aren’t.

  5. Reply


    February 19, 2020

    Even if you’re in a relationship, it’s important to still self care and not lose yourself, this is something everyone learns at some point in their love life

  6. Reply

    Serene Xi

    February 19, 2020

    Self-partnered is a really healthy term and philosophy. We should all like ourselves so much that we enjoy spending “me” time anytime.

  7. Reply


    February 19, 2020

    I haven’t heard that term before. I don’t think I could happily be in a relationship with myself. I’m a lot to handle lol.

  8. Reply


    February 20, 2020

    So vital and valuable in a world that is so beautiful yet so dark. Thank you for being the light at the end of the tunnel for those who do not love themselves. I believe there is nothing greater and more defying than practicing self love as when you are self partnered, you can rely less on others to love you. Amazing blog post.

  9. Reply

    Ntensibe Edgar Michael

    February 20, 2020

    Hihi….I loved this term from the first day I saw it! It made so much more sense than the words I am used to seeing.

  10. Reply


    February 20, 2020

    This is rather a new concept for me. I remember this was mentioned by Emma Watson. I need to know more about it.

  11. Reply

    Matt Taylor

    February 20, 2020

    My favorite word of the day, spectaculasome. haha. Those are all great ideas on how we can be self-partnered. Although I would still like to do many of those things with someone special! lol ?

  12. Reply


    February 21, 2020

    this is so me!! although i can work well with teams, i love partnering with self.. <3 <3

  13. Reply

    Subhashish Roy

    February 21, 2020

    Thanks for these similar thoughts. I too am a great believer in loving myself and spending a lot of me time appreciating good things that I do and planning ahead on more that I should do. Lovely reading through.This handbook is nice.

  14. Reply

    Angela Ricardo Bethea

    February 21, 2020

    Those are some great ideas you got there, I did journaling before. I’ve heard of this term before and I like it though I’m not single anymore.

  15. Reply

    My Haute Talk

    February 21, 2020

    I’m married and I absolutely love this. Self love and care is essential in how we care for others.

  16. Reply


    February 24, 2020

    I like the term self-partnered. Sounds like it’s a healing period of loving yourself before you add another person to your life.

  17. Reply

    Maryann Auger

    February 25, 2020

    Self-partnered is such an awesome concept! I love it and this blog post!

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Hiya! I’m Sara

I’m a wellness writer, Graves Disease thriver and self-love advocate.

And I’m passionate about empowering you to prioritize self-care and love yourself fiercely.

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