Hiya Sweet Friend:
Recently Emma Watson declared that she preferred to think of herself as “self-partnered.” Not single, but instead enjoying a lovely relationship with herself. How awesome is that?! Kudos to Emma for highlighting the importance of a loving and respectful relationship with your gorgeous self.
But what exactly does it even mean to be in a self-partnership? And do you have to be single to tap into it?
Heck no baby! Self-love is spectaculasome (spectacularly awesome). And building a relationship with yourself is a huge part of that. Being in a self-partnership is awesome for everyone!
Which means that dating yourself, regardless of your relationship status, is a marvelous idea.
How do you work on achieving that coveted “self-partnered” relationship status? I’ve got some awesome tips for you.
Let’s talk about it!
What Does It Mean To Be Self-Partnered?
According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly: “self-partnering focuses on the ideal of being happy and complete as a solo individual […] To be truly self-partnered, one must often invest a great deal of time and energy on personal development.” (source).
At it’s foundation, the term “self-partnered” was coined as a lovely way to positively re-frame singlehood. Thank you Emma Watson!
But it’s also a powerful reminder that, regardless of where you are in your life (and what your relationship status may be), it’s important that you nourish and prioritize your relationship with yourself.
Because, my wonderful friend, you are just as worthy of your love and kindness as everyone else in your life.
You put so much thought and devotion into your relationships with others. Let’s turn some of that same level of thoughtfulness and passion inwards towards your relationship with fantabulous you.
So how can you work on your relationship with yourself and, ultimately, be “self-partnered?”
1. Prioritize Self-Care
When you love someone you do your best to take are of them. You’re present for them when they need you. And you encourage them to take care of themselves too. Why not do that for yourself?
Make time for whatever self-care you need daily. Whether it be 5 minutes of deep breathing, an hour of Netflix, a walk around the block, a moment of doodling in a journal or something else entirely.
You deserve some time to take care of yourself in whatever way you need.
Super bonus, prioritizing your self-care will benefit you and those you love.
Therapist Julia Bartz has this to say on prioritizing self-care:
“Many people think it’s selfish to consider one’s needs. But doing so will benefit not only you but the others in your life. It’s difficult to care for and connect with others when we’re in a constant state of stress and exhaustion.” (source)
It can absolutely be a struggle sometimes to schedule in some you time. Especially since we aren’t exactly encouraged to prioritize ourselves. But that’s exactly the reason why you need to work on penciling yourself in.
To help, I made you a free printable self-care workbook. Download your copy right here or fill out the form below and I’ll send it to you right away. Having a plan in place can be a HUGE help! So I got your back <3.
2. Take Yourself On Dates
Eager to check out a new restaurant? Interested in that bookstore downtown? Excited about a museum exhibit? Take yourself out honey!
When it comes to planning a date with others, it’s common to put tons of thought and effort into it. You think about what would make them happy. If there’s any way that you can make their time extra special. And what activities would line up with their passions and interests.
Take some time to put just as much thought and effort into a special outing just for you. You deserve it!
Does that mean you have to go alone? Not necessarily! Planning a date night with a loved one or some friends can be incredibly rewarding and fun. And can absolutely count as self-kindness. As long as it’s special and exciting for you.
3. Cook Or Bake For Yourself
Food can be a beautiful part of your self-love language. Have you ever made cookies or cooked a meal for a loved one? How awesome did it feel to take the time to create food for them? There’s so much love that can go into cooking. Take that special moment and do it for yourself, cutie!
Find a recipe you feel excited about! I’m talking “drooled on your phone a little when you saw it” excited. (No judgement, I feel you!)
Pick out your ingredients, prep your kitchen, put on some good music and get cooking!
And then savour every bite. Because yum town is not a place to rush through.
Yes, you can share with someone if you want to. Because sharing food is delightful! But make you cook it because you want it. And know while you’re cooking that this deliciousness is a wonderful gift for you from you.
4. Write Yourself A Love Letter
Have you ever written a note to a loved one about how awesome they are and how much you adore them? Or even a sweet blurb in a card? Makes them feel good, doesn’t it?
And it always feels wonderful to write it too! Sharing your love, gratitude and admiration with someone is nothing short of magical. So why not do it for yourself?
Whether it be a couple sentences about accomplishments you’re proud of, or a few pages about how fantastic you are, writing it down can make you feel amazing.
Even better, talking to yourself in the third person (and using your name while you do so) allows for some self-distancing. Meaning that you can sort of look at your own qualities more objectively, like an outsider. Research suggest that this let’s you recognize qualities within yourself that you haven’t noticed yet. (source)
This love letter might actually lift you up a ton more than you think. Which can give you a huge boost in self-esteem. And, even better, strengthen your relationship with your wonderful self. And Boom! You’re self-partnered before you know it!
5. Indulge In A Little Alone Time
Some time with you is a wonderful thing. You time allows you to connect with yourself, giving you the wonderful opportunity to enjoy your own company.
Plus, you may just get to know yourself a little better. This whole self-partnered thing keeps sounding better and better, doesn’t it?
Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly had more awesome thoughts on the matter:
“Although it’s normal and healthy to want to be with others, it’s important to also nurture feeling at ease without others — and loving your time alone […] your self-esteem grows when you consciously learn to love your own company.” (source)
Alone time comes in many forms. A relaxing bath, time lost in a good book, a lovely walk… or even going out solo to a movie or dinner (which brings us back to the “take yourself on a date” idea. See, it all comes together! Booyah!)
6. Give Journaling A Try
If love letter writing doesn’t feel write for your, freestyle journaling could be your new best friend. Doing both is also an option; you don’t have to choose one or the other.
Taking the time to write out your thoughts, feelings and experiences, completely unfiltered, can really allow you to connect with yourself.
Even better, there are no rules in journal town. So do what feels right for you. Ultimately, it’s a judgement free zone where your thoughts run free. And you may learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.
At the end of the day, self-partnering includes connecting to yourself in a way that makes the most sense for you. Every relationship is unique, including your relationship with yourself. Tap into your needs, interests, preferences and dreams and prioritize yourself.
You are just as worthy of the time, love and kindness you share with others. Channel some of that inward love! You have so much to gain!
What self-partnering activities and advice would you add to the list? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Share with me in the comments below.
Health and love,
Thought of the day: Be kind to yourself.
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