Self-love is the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. I know I’m repeating myself here, but that’s the biggest and most important message I have to share with you here at Ms. Health-Esteem. Love yourself wholly, love yourself fiercely. Everything else can fall into place around that.
Which is why I was so incredibly pleased when I saw a globally recognized K-pop band giving a UN speech about the importance of self-love. Isn’t that absolutely amazing?
Ever since BTS Love Yourself (their last album), this fantastic group from South Korea have been on a mission to share the importance of loving yourself. And their UN speech was nothing short of inspiring.
3 quotes stuck out to me. Full of powerful, life changing messages about self-love. And since we can all always use a little more self-love inspiration I wanted to share these lessons with you.
So, without further adieu, here are 3 remarkable self-love tips from BTS love yourself:
Why We’re talking about BTS Love Yourself
If it seems a little silly that a Healthy Lifestyle blogger is talking about BTS, I feel ya! But hear me out. This is about far more than my adoration for K-pop… (Fun fact, that’s my typical workout music ;))
Last year BTS (an awesome K-pop band you should absolutely check out, for those who don’t know) released an album called Love Yourself, exploring and promoting the idea of self-love.
To keep this powerful message going they started the Love Myself campaign with UNICEF as an extension and sponsorship of UNICEF’s #ENDviolence. Together they have raised funds to protect and support young people who have been victims of violence and/or sexual assault and provide education to local communities for violence prevention. (source)
BTS chose to focus on self-love because they believe that when you find love for yourself you have more love to give others. Practicing self-love is better for our own well-being and the well-being of our society as a whole. I bet you can imagine that this self-love advocate was pretty happy to hear that!
The coolest part?
Kim Nam-joon (known by his stage name RM), with the support of his band mates, gave an incredibly thoughtful speech about self-love at the UN as part of their Love Myself partnership with UNICEF. (Watch it here).
BTS Love Yourself has led to so much goodness and has had a wonderful impact (I mean, a UN speech is kind of a big deal!)
So let’s take a look at 3 inspiring quotes from BTS’ speech and discuss the self-love lessons we can take from them.
3 Remarkable Self-Love Tips from BTS Love Yourself
1. “True love first begins with loving myself.”
There’s an age old saying (that we’ve all likely heard a million times) about how you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself. And while that may not be entirely true, the way we feel about ourselves has a major impact on the relationships we form and how we view them.
When we have low self-esteem we tend to feel less satisfied with our relationships and less optimistic about the future. Our lack of self-love can even lead us to underestimate how much our partners love us. When we don’t feel good about ourselves it’s hard to believe that someone else could feel good about us. (source)
Even worse, feeling low on self-love often leads us to enter more negative relationships… it makes us more likely to select and stay with partners who don’t treat us well.
This is all part of self-verification.
According to Dr. Bill Swann, a Professor of Social and Personality Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, people desire self-verification. We want to be known and understood by others. But that knowledge and understanding starts within. (source)
Dr. Swann’s research and Self-Verification Theory shows that once we have a firmly held belief about ourselves we like to surround ourselves with others who see us in the same way. Even if those beliefs are negative.
A low sense of self-value can lead us to feel drawn towards people who also don’t value us. It can make us feel like we aren’t deserving of happiness or a positive outcome. (source)
What can we take away from all of this?
That love really does start with you. We are all worthy of self-love and self-acceptance. And it’s really important that we work on that.
Ultimately, learning to value yourself allows you to see that you also deserve to be valued by others. You’re more likely to make sure that your relationships are supportive and loving. You’ll see them in a more positive light. And you won’t force yourself to remain in an unhappy situation because you’ll know that you really do deserve better.
See how all of that goodness came from self-love? How awesome is that?
Related: Need a little help? Here are 8 ways to work on self-acceptance.
2. “Maybe I made a mistake yesterday, but yesterday’s me is still me. Today, I am who I am with all of my faults and my mistakes. Tomorrow, I might be a tiny bit wiser, and that will be me too.”
I like to think of self-love as a blend of self-esteem, self-compassion and self-acceptance. It’s about celebrating your value and adoring your uniqueness, yes. But it also includes acknowledging your faults, recognizing your weaknesses and fully accepting it all. Like R.M. showed us in this beautiful quote from his BTS Love Yourself UN Speech.
Why would you love and accept a fault, weakness or mistake?
Because all of that adds up to you! And aren’t marvelous just as you are? I think so!
To quote B.J. Neblett, you are the sum of your experiences. Positive, negative, simple or difficult… they all add up to the person you are today.
Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy has this to say about accepting ourselves, faults and all:
“You need to recognize that given your defenses, blind spots, insecurities, and the harmful things you may have been exposed to, you really are doing the best you can—and have been all along. Additionally, you need to stop evaluating yourself according to standards that don’t really fit who you are, or what you can realistically expect of yourself.” (Source)
Realizing that you don’t need to be some mythical better version of yourself to be worthy of love is such an important step. Perfection is an impossibility and has no place with us on our self-love journey. There will never be a you that is without fault. There’s no version of anyone that is without fault. And that’s ok!
We are all worthy just as we are, right now, beautiful flaws and all.
Related: Self love isn’t always easy! But each tiny step takes us in an amazing direction. If you need a hand, here are 8 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely (Your Health Will Thank You).
3. “I have come to love myself for who I am, for who I was, and for who I hope to become.”
This beautiful thought further inspires us to love ourselves for who we were and who we are, faults, mistakes and all. But it also provides an important reminder that self-love isn’t about complacency.
Loving and accepting yourself as you are right now doesn’t mean that having dreams, goals or aspirations for self-improvement are wrong.
You can have ambitions and still love yourself as you are. That’s part of the point of this quote from R.M’s BTS Love Yourself UN Speech. You’re allowed to strive, to dream, to grow. As long as you don’t withhold self-love until you achieve those things.
We all want and deserve to grow and learn. But we can’t hold our self-love for ransom until we blossom into some mythical “better” version of ourselves.
Who you were, who you are and who you will become are all just as worthy of self-love.
You are already so incredibly full of goodness. And when you realize that and you start to honour what an incredible person you already are, things change. Because any change that you strive for is no longer about fixing a broken and valueless self, it’s about acknowledging that you’re already bursting with goodness and you’re just looking to create more.
Life is tough. You are worthy of your own love. And you deserve to have your own back. No matter where you are in your journey.
Related: Want to learn more about practicing Self-love? Here are 3 Things You Need to Know.
Your turn! What advice on self-love do you have to share? Have you heard of BTS Love Yourself before? Did you watch the UN Speech? Are there any self-love quotes that have let you feeling inspired? Share your thoughts, ideas and experiences with us in the comments below.
Health and love,
Thought of the day: Love makes the world a better place. And it all starts with me. I will make self-love a priority.
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