Hello Sweet Friends:
How are you doing? Everything ok? Do you need anything?
These are all questions we regularly ask… to our friends, to our family, to any of the people we care about.
But how often to you check in with yourself?
A self-care check in is a lovely form of being present for yourself. It’s showing up for yourself and making sure that you’re ok. And when you’re not ok, this wonderful self-care activity is all about figuring out why and discovering the support you need to feel better.
A self-care check in is a way to say “Hey me, I’m here for you. I care. We’re in this together.” And you absolutely deserve that kind of self-partnership.
Not sure where to start? Here are 12 questions you can ask yourself when you need to check in. Let’s take a peek!
What Is A Self-Care Check In
A self-care check in is truly such a kind thing to do for yourself. It’s an act of self-care that you can do anytime you’d like.
But it can be hard to know where to even start. So I’ve put together 12 examples of things you can ask yourself when you need to check in.
- How Are You Feeling?
- What Do You Need Right Now?
- What Brought You Joy Today? This Week? This Month?
- What Are You Putting Off?
- Is There Any Self-Work You Should Focus On?
- What Self-Care Activities Would You Like To Do More Often?
- What Actions Can You Take To Feel Better?
- Are You Taking Breaks And Resting When You Need To?
- Are There Any Goals Or Hobbies You’d Like To Pursue?
- What Are You Grateful For?
- Are You Honouring Your Boundaries?
- Is There Negativity You Can Cut From Your Life?
Now, should you ask yourself all 12 of these questions in one sitting? Probably not! That might be a bit overwhelming! But if something resonates with you, it could be good to think on it and dive deeper.
This is your check in, so you can individualize the entire experience and make it yours.
I encourage you to make up your own self-care check in questions too (and would love if you’d share them with me in the comments!) What you need and how you’re feeling changes all the time.
Personalized questions that reflect where you are in your life are a fantastic way to check in with yourself and provide yourself with the support you deserve.
But the 12 questions we’re going over today are still a wonderful place to start! What makes them so special? Let’s dive deeper into why they matter and how you can help yourself by searching for the answers.
1. How Are You Feeling?
Check in with your beautiful self. Are you doing ok? What feelings are hiding just below the surface?
If everything feels great, that’s awesome! Revel in that joyful bliss! Not so great? That’s ok too. But maybe some deeper exploration is needed to help you work through it.
Acknowledge, validate and work through your feelings. Even when they’re negative ones (good vibes only isn’t real, after all).
While it may feel counter-intuitive, it’s so incredibly important that you allow yourself to work through negative feelings when they arrive.
Is it uncomfortable sometimes to unpack your feelings? Heck yes. But those feelings aren’t there to take over, they just want to pass through. And the only way to help them move through you is to sit with them and work through whatever’s causing them.
And remember – this isn’t something you need to work through alone. Reach out to your support system, lean on some shoulders, speak with a therapist… whatever helps you along the way. Self-care doesn’t have to be a solo activity.
2. What Do You Need Right Now?
No one knows what you need better than you do! Take a moment with yourself, close your eyes, breathe deep and ask yourself what you need. And then listen. Without judgement or criticism. Listen with compassion for beautiful you.
What do you need? How can you provide that for yourself? And if you can’t respond to your need right this second, is there an opportunity sometime soon? Or a compromise that will help you?
These conversations with yourself are so important. Because you’re with you always. You have a front row seat to your heart and mind. No one knows what you need better than you do.
Sometimes you might not be able to provide for yourself right this second. Or maybe not at all. But just being present for yourself and listening is huge.
How do you feel when a friend takes the time to hear you out? Awesome, right? Being heard is so comforting. And you deserve to be that friend for yourself too.
3. What Brought You Joy Today? This Week? This Month?
What lifted your spirit? What made you feel good? Was it an activity, time spent with someone, an adventure somewhere, cozy pajamas and a Netflix binge?
Whatever it is, the fact that it gave you a nice boost is fantastic. Identifying the things that bring you joy is wonderful. Especially when you can make more time for the joyful things. Why not prioritize the joyful things as often as you can?
4. What Are You Putting Off?
Ok, this one might make you cringe a little bit. But bare with me. Because a self-care check in isn’t just about the fun stuff… Sometimes taking care of yourself is about facing the not-so-fun stuff you might be putting off.
It might be as simple as doing laundry. Or as uncomfortably complex as scheduling a doctor’s appointment. But no matter what it is, it shouldn’t be put off forever.
Why are you putting it off? Do you need support? What steps do you need to take to make it happen?
These questions might not be fun. But if it’s important for your well-being; they’re questions you should absolutely take the time to ask yourself.
5. Is There Any Self-Work You Should Focus On?
Self-work isn’t always easy. Much like how self-care isn’t always the fun, relaxing stuff. But it’s important none-the-less.
Self-work involves looking within yourself, recognizing the growing you need to do, and putting in the work to make positive change.
Whether it’s acknowledging your privileges, questioning your implicit biases, working on expressing emotions in healthier ways, or something else entirely, self-work is important.
It can be hard to examine you ideas and behaviours and discover areas that may need some improvement. But ultimately, self-work helps us better connect with ourselves and those around us.
When you’re doing self-work, I encourage you to do it with kindness. Just because we have areas we could improve upon doesn’t mean that we should beat ourselves up about it. Be kind and gentle as you learn and grow. What’s important is that we try, not that we’re perfect (because perfection isn’t real, baby!)
6. What Self-Care Activities Would You Like To Do More Often?
Amy Przeworski, Ph.D., researcher and therapist, says it best:
“Make sure that you schedule some me-time for self-care. It will reduce your stress, increase your productivity, and boost your happiness!” (source)
And no one knows what kind of self-care feels best better than you!
Which activities help you relax the most? What lifts you up? Are there things you can do more regularly that make you feel good? Try to make time for those things.
It can be helpful to create a list in your journal of the self-care that helps you de-stress the most. That way, when you are having a bad day and feel unsure of how to soothe yourself, you can take a peek at your list and choose whatever activity resonates with you the most.
7. What Actions Can You Take To Feel Better?
Life can get pretty stressful. It’s absolutely natural to struggle at times. What matters is that we seek support and self-soothe when we need it.
If you are struggling with something, ask yourself what kind of support systems or actions you need to take in order to work on feeling better. Whether it’s rest, talking with a loved one, therapy, self-soothing, self-care or something else entirely. Knowing what you need is the first step.
8. Are You Taking Breaks And Resting When You Need To?
While we tend to prioritize productivity, rest is just as important. Resting is healing.
And, here’s the kicker, resting actually helps to make you more productive and creative. Mind blown, right?! (source)
So you owe it to yourself to take that lunch break, schedule that you do, put those feet up and rest. I promise, it’s time well spent.
9. Are There Any Goals Or Hobbies You’d Like To Pursue?
Dreaming and working to achieve the things that excite you are wonderful. What’s something new you’d like to try or something you’re excited to achieve? How can you begin?
Remember, it’s ok to be a beginner. Start where you are, give yourself permission to be a novice, and go from there. You’ll learn and grow as you go.
And it’s also ok to pursue something just for the fun of it. You don’t need to be good at something to enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to remove the pressures of perfection and just enjoy yourself. Fun is time well spent.
10. What Are You Grateful For?
Gratitude is POWERFUL. And yet it’s so easy to forget about all of the things we have to be grateful for (especially the little things).
But when you take the time to really think about what you’re grateful for, and, even better, write them down (gratitude journaling is amazing), the boost is amazing. And you can carry that feeling of gratitude with you throughout the day.
So, what are you grateful for? Don’t just think big. Think small. Warm sheets? Hugs? Pet snuggles? Breakfast? If you’re feeling grateful about it, it counts and deserves to make the gratitude list.
11. Are You Honouring Your Boundaries?
Boundaries are everything. I encourage you to be clear with yourself (and anyone else needs to know) about your limits.
Don’t be afraid to say no when you need to – to work, to company, to activities that drain you. You can’t do everything, and you certainly aren’t an Energizer bunny that’s always ready to go. It’s ok to say no.
I know it’s not always easy. But practice makes perfect. And it all starts with asking yourself what your boundaries are and how you can honour them.
12. Is There Negativity You Can Cut From Your Life?
Whether it be negative self-talk, frenemies, social media accounts that make you feel awful about yourself, or anything else… if it’s an unnecessary source of negativity, it’s got to go.
Work on self-kindness, drop those frenemies, unfollow or mute those icky social media accounts… pluck that negativity up off the ground and toss it out of your life. Bye bye!
There are so many ways that you can check in with yourself. And tons of questions you could ask. What matters is that you take the time to make sure you’re doing ok. And when you’re not, that you’re there for yourself discovering how to make things better.
Not only is a self-care check in a beautiful way to care for yourself, it’s a wonderful form of self-love. What better way to say “I love you” than to check in with someone? You owe this to your incredible self too!
Your turn: Which of these questions resonated with you the most? Any questions you’d like to add to the self-care check in questions list? Looking forward to hearing your lovely thoughts!
Health and love,
Thought of the day: You are worthy of your love and support.
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